My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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