whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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