Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
