Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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