If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
