Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
