so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
