there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
