you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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