There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
