He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
