I'm eating all of the evidence.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
