I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
