last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
