I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Found your dick twin last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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