I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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