i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
