I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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