Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
