Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish you could order shots online.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
