When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
