just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
