the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
