so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
