I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
being pregnant is like rehab
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
