dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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