I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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