She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
