have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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