I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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