just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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