Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
