OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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