Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
