let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
