You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
