I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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