What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
