So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
