I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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