at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
