Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
