pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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