so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
