I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
