That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
