Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
