He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
