Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
