do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
