If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
How's work?
Spinning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
