Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
