I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
