____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
