when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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